Heart Untangled

I have been treated unfairly so many times. Why do I still miss the people that treated me so badly? I know what I deserve, but I always settle for less. I wasn’t really into you in the beginning, then you wanted to be exclusive. So I started to emotionally invest in you, then you say I am over reacting over your busy schedule? There is nothing wrong with being busy with anything. But when you make plans with someone, the nice things to do is to tell them you can’t make it. That is the only reason why I was so mad. You are so selfish in that sense. My feelings no longer matter because you are just another number. 

My self esteem is lost.

I go around falling for every guy that takes interest. Fucking stupid! I have never felt so incredibly used and embarrassed. Why am I afraid to stand alone? Alone is safe, alone is honest, alone is always there…Why do people go around hurting other people? This will be my dirty little secret. Forever and always, taking this to the grave. I have a problem, an addiction, I’m on a quest to find my soul. 

No more. No more fucking, no more texting, no more talking, no more meeting, no more exchanging anything with the oposite sex. A bunch of fucking assholes who are so great at misleading and manipulating insecure, lonely, broken girls. I am so fucking done with this bull shit. Now I have to pick up whatever is left of my pride and start weeding out the issues and building an even stronger woman than the one that has been left in the dust too many times. Fuck you. 

Haruki Murakami - 1Q84

(via harukimurakami)

(via theantidote)

Confused, lonely, & extremely anxious. I don’t know where to begin to start treating the symptoms. You can’t treat the symptoms until you find the cause. 

Just have fun! I am 21, there is plenty of time for love. Relax and focus on the important things without taking life so seriously. :) Done. 

I’m too afraid to commit to pushing you out of my heart because that means you’re gone forever.